Contracting vs. Expanding qualities of being.

Contraction as opposed to expansion. The small sense of self versus the selfless. The ego versus the spirit. In our human experience, there are really only three things that define us: Our thoughts, our words, and our actions. Contracting thoughts, words, and actions are all those which relate to your individual personhood. The source from which these thoughts, words, and actions arise is your sense of self. Expanding thoughts, words and actions are all those which relate to your formless personhood. The source from which these thoughts, words, and actions arise is your spirit. For the sake of explaining, let us call thoughts, words, and actions qualities of being.

What is important to understand is that expanding and contracting qualities of being do not originate in the same place. Beyond being distinct words, your sense of self and your spirit aren't simply different states of mind - they are quite literally different creative sources within you.

The spirit, or your center of universal consciousness, is that which is connected to all things, people, and events. It is selfless in nature because it is formless. Whenever you experience glimpses of selfless love, meaning that you give without expecting anything in return, this is when you express qualities of being that arise from the spirit. The spirit is a source of perpetual expansion. The best example of the expression of the spirit is the love a mother has for her child. It is said to be the strongest form of love there is because no matter what the child does, which is a way of saying no matter the form in which its life is expressed, it is enough for a mother to give love just because her child is.

The sense of self, or your center of individual consciousness, is that which is only connected to itself. It is selfish in nature because it does not exist in another individual. It is tied to your personal experiences and the way your sense of self interpreted these experiences. Whenever you give expecting something in return, you only give because you need to receive. The sense of self is a source of perpetual contraction. Whatever qualities of being it expresses are in relation to itself. For example, if someone does not text you back and you get worried about it, the sense of self cannot focus on the countless reasons for which the other person doesn't text back. It can only relate what the experience means to itself. Am I not good enough? What have I done wrong? Why is that person not texting me back?

I find it very helpful to fundamentally understand that our true nature is our spirit - not our sense of self. Our true nature is that which can keep on giving, no matter what is thrown at it. It is that within us that can tolerate, accept, respect and love anything. Because intrinsically it knows that whenever it harms someone it quite literally harms itself. It is that within us that knows that all beings and events are connected. We are all an expression of life, one wave amongst waves, one cloud amongst clouds. Our spirit understands everyone's condition and takes nothing personally. That's because it is devoid of a sense of identity. It is that force within us that knows that even if someone is mean to you, it is not because they are intrinsically mean, but rather because their sense of self is trying to protect itself.

Take a moment to think about it. Our sense of self is a relay point. It experiences something, qualifies that experience and then projects meaning onto the experience. Let's say you take a walk in a park to relax when it's sunny but suddenly it starts raining. Your sense of self will qualify the fact that it is raining as either a pleasant or unpleasant experience. Then it will project its qualification back onto the experience and judge it I don't like it when it rains. Whatever you experience, the sense of self will relate things to itself, qualify them and project meaning back onto them. That is why the sense of self is contracting in nature. It cannot live experiences for what they are. It can only live in order, judgement and meaning.

So what if you have positive thoughts - do they come from the spirit or from the sense of self? Well, they can come from both. However, they can be distinguished from each other by one very simple trait.

Whenever positive thoughts arise from the sense of self, these thoughts have a spill over effect on your sense of self. They reinforce your preferences and likings. Let's say that you love sunny days. Whenever the sky is blue you will experience satisfaction. This satisfaction may be expressed in internal thoughts of admiration or a sense of pleasure. However, if the sky is cloudy, you will experience dissatisfaction.

Whenever positive thoughts arise from the spirit, these thoughts are related to your sense of absolute acceptance. They are not expressed as a preference. You might express your love for a sunny day in your thoughts, but the thought itself doesn't originate in the mind. You are not expressing a preference. This means that when the sky is cloudy, you will not experience dissatisfaction. A cloudy day is an independent experience and does not exist in relation to your preference for a sunny day.